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You ever encounter someone who seems to be a little rough around the edges? You know they’re the kind of people that whip out statements that are generally offensive and/or are easy to take personal insult to just about every time you are around them. Such statements become so common in observing their behavior that it becomes difficult for you to not think of them in a negative way. You start to wonder “how can this person really be this big of a douche bag?” Maybe you are just overly sensitive, insecure, or maybe the Almighty is having fun with you by placing this person in your life. Most likely the simple answer is, I hate to say it . . . maybe they really are a douche bag.

I think it’s safe to say that I have had some times in my life that I was this person with a chip on my shoulder–walking around biting people’s heads off–using my whits to insult people when they were too clueless to catch on (that was my favorite). But I didn’t get that way by accident. I needed some help to get me there. I apologize to those who had to experience me in this way back in the day (or yesterday for that matter). I might have been experiencing a series of events that caused me to spiral down the path of depression and self-loathing. There may have been something going on that you didn’t know about.

Painful circumstances are never an excuse to take your eye off of the ball, but sometimes you’re in so much pain that the only way you can muster the strength to be around people is to approach them with a sort of careless apathy. Instead of dealing with the pain eating away at your insides, it becomes way easier to point out people’s flaws to them. They probably have forgotten their flaws and need you to remind them of what’s wrong with them anyways right?

Next time you encounter a genuine douche bag in his/her element, stop and think about it for minute. Ask yourself, “what has happened to this person to make them this way?”, “what’s going on in this person’s life to make them act like such a douche?”. You may not have an answer, but there’s always more to their story than you know. This is a good opportunity to administer grace, forgive 7 times 70 as Jesus asks of us, and pray for healing of whatever this person is going through. Eventually, if they’re not really a douche at heart, they’ll come around.